Love at First Swipe

Dave and Andi discuss the cool word of the week and implement it into the discussion. Have you ever been on Tinder/Bumble or other dating apps? How do these apps affect relationships versus old-fashioned courting? How much time goes by before you look at your phone after you wake in the morning?
What would an episode of Quiet and Kinky be without a nonsense convo about straws and pancakes and remote controls? Do you have a bucket list? How would you finish the sentence, “before I die…..”

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[00:00:00] Dave: you are listening to the quiet and kinky podcast with David Andy.

 

[00:00:04] Andi: There is explicit material in this podcast. So if you are under 18, go

 

[00:00:09] Dave: away, consider yourself warned Hello and welcome back to episode four of quiet and kinky. I’m Dave I’m Andy and so just making sure everything’s going good. I see you have a dog in your lap as usual. Yeah.

 

[00:00:23] Andi: Yeah. We can’t officially do the podcast without his help. No, no, we

 

[00:00:28] Dave: can’t. Yeah, I can’t start. So where do you want to start today?

 

[00:00:32] Andi: So we named this podcast, love at 1st Swipe. So, um, can’t wait. Yeah, so we’ll get, we’ll get to that in a minute. But our word of the week is mood, mood. Yeah. So it’s not what you

 

[00:00:50] Dave: think because this already sounds difficult

 

[00:00:52] Andi: because usually say, are you in a mood? That’s not what it means. So it’s if you’re in agreeance with another person, like if you’re cool, you know, like,

 

[00:01:00] Dave: so your mood with me, ma’am?

 

[00:01:03] Andi: No, not like that. No. Yeah. Don’t be un cool. Don’t be uncool. No, I’m just saying you said it wrong. Okay, got yourself. Yeah. So if you say something like, um, I wish I was on vacation. Okay, So say that, I wish I was on vacation. I wish I was on vacation. Mood. That means I agree with you.

 

[00:01:21] Dave: Oh, got you. So you can be like, I’m so mood. Like I still got you. So it can be like, I’m so mood.

 

[00:01:28] Andi: No, it’s just mood.

 

[00:01:30] Dave: Okay. Gotcha. Alright, so I have to use that. So it mood means you are in agreeance.

 

[00:01:34] Andi: Yeah and like you really agree. Like yeah like mood.

 

[00:01:38] Dave: This should be fun. Okay so we have to use that in the episode which I fail miserably most of the time. But she’s got this.

 

[00:01:48] Andi: Yeah you got it. I’ll help you. Thank you. Um How long when you wake up in the morning? How long does it take you to check your phone?

 

[00:01:57] Dave: How long does it take me to get from the bed to the bathroom?

 

[00:02:02] Andi: Well you don’t check the phone before you get out of the bat the bed

 

[00:02:05] Dave: actually. Yeah you’re right. Sometimes I do, Sometimes I’ll like wake up and like you know what, I don’t feel like moving but I do want to check my phone so I’ll check my phone and yeah within the 1st 10 minutes of waking up.

 

[00:02:18] Andi: So you know it’s all recommended in yada yada that it’s not good to be so attached to your phone. But we both do, our whole life is based on the internet and digital marketing and why not

 

[00:02:33] Dave: wake up? Like what do we have to work with

 

[00:02:35] Andi: this morning or what sucked up overnight?

 

[00:02:38] Dave: Right. Exactly. What did I miss?

 

[00:02:40] Andi: What do we have to fix? What do we do now? So yeah, so so you say immediately or sometimes you go to the bathroom before you check your phone.

 

[00:02:49] Dave: No No it’s always fun 1st. In bathroom. Okay there is never a sequence and where I go to the bathroom first.

 

[00:02:55] Andi: Okay well I check it before I get out of bed as well.

 

[00:03:00] Dave: I know this and it’s been like that for years because when we did work for the same company you would send me company emails. Sleeping next to me at 3 30

 

[00:03:08] Andi: In the morning. Well I’m talking about when we wake up though, like not at 3:30 AM. Yeah. So and when you wake up from sleeping all night then your first priority is not to get a drink of water, not to go to the bathroom, not to let the dog out. It’s check your phone

 

[00:03:24] Dave: right? Because it’s the easiest thing to do of the all those tasks you just said. So in the morning when you’re feeling exceptionally lazy your phones usually right there on the nightstand. I mean how

 

[00:03:33] Andi: can you say it’s the easiest thing to do when it’s probably work that’s waiting for you. So how is the easier than just getting a drink or waking up stretch and

 

[00:03:43] Dave: make some serious sense? I shouldn’t be checking my phone or anything want to wake up. Yeah. So why are we so attached to our phones? Because we allow ourselves to be

 

[00:03:52] Andi: well yeah, I think we allow it we don’t have to do that. We’re our own boss. So it’s not like we’re worried about the boss has emailed us or something.

 

[00:04:04] Dave: Well I mean I love our line of work too. So typically when I opened up my phone in the morning, it’s really nice pictures all the way going through.

 

[00:04:10] Andi: Well from what

 

[00:04:12] Dave: you’re only fans. I’m looking at your feed.

 

[00:04:14] Andi: Oh, well, yeah, this doesn’t notify you though, right? Oh, your perverted. Are you looking at dirty pictures first thing in the morning?

 

[00:04:22] Dave: I love looking at my wife naked. Dirty you maybe underneath the covers, but I can always see you naked somewhere.

 

[00:04:28] Andi: I don’t sleep naked.

 

[00:04:30] Dave: No, you don’t.

 

[00:04:31] Andi: I never have been. So you don’t

 

[00:04:34] Dave: know. I don’t think I could, but if you were butt naked and I was butt naked, that would work. I would sleep naked with you. Thanks

 

[00:04:41] Andi: suey sleeps naked with us every night. It’s obvious that the world is connected to their phones, right? So my first topic today is kind of going back to the name of the episode, which is love at first swipe love at first swipe um The Bumble and Tinder mentality, so I have a lot of single girlfriends and they’re all on a dating app of some sort.

 

[00:05:12] Dave: Yeah, we live by curiously through them

 

[00:05:15] Andi: really, I don’t want, I would not want to be single for anything right now, but I do enjoy the stories and hearing about it. So it is entertaining. So how do you think that Bumble and Tinder effect dating now versus in the days before technology was where it is at this point,

 

[00:05:37] Dave: of course everything I talked about here is a straight opinion, but it’s kind of like Bumble Tinder and all that kind of made sex a little more liberated and more acceptable, like strange sex I guess. You know, like with random people, and it just be casual, casual sex has just become kind of the norm for the particular generation that came up with it. If we were still in the dating scene, I don’t know how we would use those apps. Yeah, we’d be terrible at it

 

[00:06:02] Andi: probably. Yeah. Yeah. It is it does seem easier to just have a

 

[00:06:08] Dave: hookup well, and it almost seems also more socially acceptable than it used to

 

[00:06:12] Andi: be. But are people missing out on the breadth of a real relationship? Like, are they missing out on the social aspect of being with one person and feeling emotional connections?

 

[00:06:25] Dave: Maybe because you you think about the primary motive behind all those apps is to get down and freaky as fast as possible, mostly for the guys. I would assume everything is not fact check, don’t hold me on that. But no, it just it seems like it’s uh it gets you don’t get to know the person before you really have sex with him, and if you’re going in the dating realm, that kind of just seems like it’s backwards.

 

[00:06:49] Andi: Well, in 2021, there were 30.4 million users on dating apps in the us. So there was a poll online, and I believe it was a website called Pew. Like P. W. And it said that basically most of the users on they’re actually looking for relationships. But what I hear from my friends which is not a vast majority, obviously this is a very small amount of people that are on the apps, that’s not always the case. So or somebody could be acting like they’re you know wanting a relationship, which I don’t know why you would do that to me. If you want to just hook up you would just put D. T. F. Up front, you know, I’m not looking. But what I hear mostly from my single girlfriends is that they will see a new guy show up on the app because they swipe all day long. So a new guy stands out and Basically he’ll either be extremely honest and say I’m in town for a business conference, I’m married with three kids and a picket fence back 600 miles away. I’m just here to hook up. So do you think that makes it easier for married people Too

 

[00:08:03] Dave: cheap? Absolutely. I mean that’s essentially what you’re doing, they get to create this alter ego in other cities when they go travel, especially businessmen and do stuff like that, but not to limit it, like you say, our friends just go down there and find people that are D. T. F. Like the lady that cuts my hair, Met her fiance, she’s currently with on one of those dating apps and I just thought it was interesting and now she’s actually moving all the way to colorado with him.

 

[00:08:30] Andi: So how long has she known him?

 

[00:08:32] Dave: I didn’t get the full detail on it,

 

[00:08:34] Andi: that’s a real important,

 

[00:08:35] Dave: but I think it sounded like it had been a pretty consistent length of a relationship for them to move together,

 

[00:08:40] Andi: but do you really know somebody? So he’s from another state apparently, so we’ll know he’s

 

[00:08:45] Dave: from here and then his job just transferred out there and she’s moving with him, but she was just telling me how she met him on one of these abs.

 

[00:08:51] Andi: Yeah, it just seems to me that if I were single at my age now that I would be less likely to throw myself out onto an app just because it’s it’s kind of a waste of time, like it’s just going to be just foolishness, like just silly people like

 

[00:09:11] Dave: well to put this down, so you, you make men work for it, like remember me when we dated for three months before I got on me, so you made me work for it and I married, you were actually, I begged you to marry me. So you know, it’s kind of, it’s our perspective of it, but hey it may work for the new age,

 

[00:09:31] Andi: so what I’m seeing and again this is just my little control group, which is just a few girlfriends, single girls um is that guys reach out, You swipe, you do that connection, you match whatever and then you meet up if you give you know boom boom hook up the first night whatever, then they kind of fall away now that could be because they don’t like you, it could be because there wasn’t a connection, it could be because their goal in the first place was to funk you and not talk to you again or for the girl like you can’t like not that women are some little weak like oh marry me, It could be the girl that goes out and uses guys. So the point is do you think that that could be creating a bigger problem? Like inhumanity, like with the whole social aspect like using people for what you need and just being a straight hedonists and just getting the funk out. Do you think that’s smarter or

 

[00:10:27] Dave: dangerous? I think it’s not smarter, Not necessarily dangerous, but I you know, it’s kind of like when we started talking and everything, you have an in person vibe like we weren’t texting each other initially. Of course we ended up having texting wars but in our get I say in our time God um but in our time it

 

[00:10:45] Andi: was over a decade ago, there were really no dating apps

 

[00:10:47] Dave: right in our time, like you just you are around people, you mingled with people like we even went to some parties together in the very beginning of our relationship. So we socialize together and I think now people communicating only through apps all the initial connection. Everything you don’t get that initial just orange vibe when you walk up to somebody and

 

[00:11:06] Andi: yourself because you don’t have the social aspect of having the person with a pulse in front of you. These people are getting to know each other through a screen and through potentially photoshopped pictures or where they crop their spouse out could be girl or guy, whatever, you know, where you don’t really know. Like when we met there wasn’t really much you could hide because I saw you and I knew people who knew you

 

[00:11:32] Dave: so well. It’s in and through a dating app, Your your best self because you can censor control edit when we could be fake, you could be fake. And when we first met and you know, I’m I mean I had all kinds of gross things and you saw them all gross things. I was just like bite my nails and stuff like that pants, That was gross. I wore pleated pants. I thought they were good. Look, why didn’t you tell me then you just let me wear them for years. People made fun of me behind my back. I didn’t know it was bad. You were leading the charge on making fun of me at work.

 

[00:12:03] Andi: I don’t know what happened there. You’re lucky. I kept talking to you. That’s true

 

[00:12:07] Dave: played it. But when we moved in together, we finally changed out my style. Yeah, I threw them all away. I just didn’t know better

 

[00:12:14] Andi: how you’re younger. You’re a good bit younger than me. You would think you were more into the style. I feel you, I feel like years older than me. No, you’re not. You’re not.

 

[00:12:24] Dave: Yeah. I’ve always want to be perceived older than I really am. So I forget the pleated pants. Put me straight there.

 

[00:12:29] Andi: So why do you think that these apps are creating more of an issue with infidelity?

 

[00:12:35] Dave: It makes it easier. I mean if you look at infidelity in the past, you just like, we were talking about meeting people in person. Like you had to go out and meet people back then. Otherwise it was called prostitution. So you’d go out mingle with people and now you’re just instantly going swiping through a menu of people essentially.

 

[00:12:55] Andi: Yeah, it is kind of like a menu. It’s like the cheesecake factory. It’s like, oh my God, there’s so many pages and how can you get a vibe from looking at one selfie? Really? And then go on swipe. Yes, I like you.

 

[00:13:08] Dave: All I know is if I was in dating apps, I wouldn’t look for like the women that have the most pretty pictures or anything. I want. The one that makes the funniest back ship behind them. Like as long as they don’t have it laying on the floor and everything, but show a little little character in your picture just a pretty face

 

[00:13:24] Andi: and two. We should do an episode on this does happen with both guys and girls. But I’ve seen the selfies taken with the toilet in the background, the filthy house in the background. I’ve seen toddlers in the

 

[00:13:39] Dave: background and I’ve seen that too.

 

[00:13:41] Andi: Um or in the bathroom mirror where apparently everybody turns on their mechanical toothbrush and just hold it against the mirror. There’s splatter everywhere and it’s like this is a great mirror to take a selfie in. Well what

 

[00:13:55] Dave: happens is they look at the mirror and they look only themselves, They’re like damn, I look good.

 

[00:14:02] Andi: This is a fun picture taking on their mind.

 

[00:14:04] Dave: Doesn’t see the splatter ship on the wall or all the stuff behind them in the mirror.

 

[00:14:09] Andi: Yeah, but I

 

[00:14:10] Dave: do. Yes you do. You very, very much attention to the Oh,

 

[00:14:13] Andi: I can tell so much because they don’t, they never. So my girlfriends will send me pictures. Okay, I’m talking to this guy. What do you think? Okay, where’s his bathroom self? Because they all have one because I don’t have one. You get a point already straight up. I don’t want to see you in the potty room, but you can tell most of the time if they’re single or not by their bathroom counter. Like if you see a tampon box, it’s either a woman that you’re talking to is a guy or it’s

 

[00:14:42] Dave: his wife, girlfriend significant other

 

[00:14:45] Andi: or it could also be a roommate or your best friend or your sister lives with you or something like

 

[00:14:50] Dave: that. So you’re not the person that would be on the apps going, oh, he’s hot. He’s hot. You would be doing self like investigative reporting on individual pictures of people. You can be like, oh, he plays golf. He does

 

[00:15:01] Andi: this. See I’m the kind of person that if I was on the app, I liked a guy, he sent me a bathroom picture and I saw a box of tampons on the counter. I would say, oh, you have a heavy flow this month. You got super absorbency,

 

[00:15:15] Dave: made the flow be with

 

[00:15:16] Andi: you. That would be me. I would totally say that I can see you’re saying I would call him. That’s who stamp on like let’s just cut, let’s not waste time. Whose are those Your sister? If you’re a grown ask man over 30, the chances of your sister living with you are probably very low and most women do put those under the tuck them away. But whatever. Anyway, that’s just my own, you know,

 

[00:15:42] Dave: our two cents. So now I would like to go into the segment every week. I’d like to have, you talked about your only fans a moment of the week and in this case I will start it, it involves me. Okay, well now the other day you were going to your messages, I think it was on instagram or something. And you know, typically when I hear sounds come from your phone, they’re like, you know, stuff from Tiktok, you know, funny little dogs, Bonnie ship like that. But I, all of a sudden here this very exotic, I’m going to assume italian maybe thick accent baby and talking in a very deep, seductive tone coming from your phone. And then that’s when I learned you can send sound through different social apps, audio clips. Yeah, I didn’t know that, but at first it freaked me. I was like, this dude is really good at seducing my wife right now. He was like,

 

[00:16:34] Andi: oh, I like it.

 

[00:16:36] Dave: I was like, he had like, you had a good microphone or something because it was very well delivered.

 

[00:16:41] Andi: It was, yeah, he had a very distinct voice. Yeah, it’s not personally my thing, right? Because I’m not going, I don’t have the time to send those back or anything and that’s nice. I mean, people come up with all different ways, but it was a little abrupt. Like I wasn’t expecting that

 

[00:16:56] Dave: I could hear from the other room when you started playing it. That’s what I thought was funny.

 

[00:16:59] Andi: Who’s here? Like an italian man.

 

[00:17:01] Dave: It’s like tell Antonio to go away. I don’t know. Sounds

 

[00:17:04] Andi: good. Yeah. So he, she just went to India and then back to travel

 

[00:17:10] Dave: the world, you know, in my brain, I’m like that segment and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory where he’s going through all the flags. So you think he’s going all those countries, That’s me. I

 

[00:17:19] Andi: don’t remember Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory charlie and charlie in the factory. Yeah, charlie. And is that what it is, charlie and the Chocolate Factory a little different. I like the new one better. Usually I like the little stuff,

 

[00:17:31] Dave: the new ones, a little more trivia and johnny Depp

 

[00:17:33] Andi: pulled it. I just love johnny Depp. I could, I would, I would be best friends and I would fund him. You can have him

 

[00:17:38] Dave: just go and hang out with him. Hey johnny here’s Andy

 

[00:17:41] Andi: Yeah, I don’t know what it is because like if I just like didn’t know he was who he is and seen and I haven’t seen all of his acting abilities, I don’t know something about him. He’s just, you’ve

 

[00:17:53] Dave: liked him forever. You didn’t care about his acting abilities. You liked him before you even knew he could act

 

[00:17:58] Andi: Yeah, he’s just, he’s just

 

[00:18:01] Dave: just a teenage thing. Teenage heartthrob that went with mood, mood got it sucking nail

 

[00:18:09] Andi: that did well. Uh, so I have a very deep question for you and I need you to think about it before you answer and this is something I tell you all the time in life, buddhist as you have two ears and one mouth listen twice as much as you speak. So ponder before you rattle off

 

[00:18:29] Dave: because this is deep understood.

 

[00:18:32] Andi: Are you ready? I’m ready. Does the straw have one hole or 2? Don’t rattle focus? Okay,

 

[00:18:43] Dave: one final answer.

 

[00:18:45] Andi: Okay, how do you expect me to believe that? Because

 

[00:18:50] Dave: you’re talking about a whole a whole, is this a circumference tunnel? That’s like this technically a straw as a tunnel? A single hole, there’s not two holes is the single hole, you assume a circle as a whole. So you would think it’s too that’s only one because you’re thinking a tunnel hole,

 

[00:19:06] Andi: I’m thinking of entry and an exit. That’s

 

[00:19:09] Dave: how you’re thinking that.

 

[00:19:10] Andi: Yeah. See I immediately went to two so I can say that your answer is wrong because I said to

 

[00:19:18] Dave: I’m trying to think of some witty way to make you understand that you are wrong but I can’t think of one that’s appropriate for this moment.

 

[00:19:25] Andi: Yeah. Well it always kind of it

 

[00:19:29] Dave: what

 

[00:19:30] Andi: you don’t have to know, what does that have to do is about one and there’s only one way in and then the same way as the way out. It’s the

 

[00:19:38] Dave: same hole, isn’t it? The

 

[00:19:39] Andi: same way as straw works? You go in one end and you go out the other end. So a straw would be like your mouth to your butthole. So it goes in the mouth answer to this. Yes. Mine understood, yep. Got it and let me just tell you how this concerning it is disconcerting.

 

[00:20:00] Dave: Disconcerting

 

[00:20:01] Andi: that. When you say the word tunnel it just really just really rubs me wrong.

 

[00:20:06] Dave: I know why it does because I called your vagina tunnel. I was saying I I was complimenting your tunnel and I’ve reached the end of the tunnel and I was like I could feel and I didn’t know what what’s another way I should have said that.

 

[00:20:22] Andi: I don’t know. But tunnel was probably not

 

[00:20:25] Dave: as a female. What was a better term? Tunnel sounds very accurately. You said

 

[00:20:29] Andi: I could hear your journal

 

[00:20:31] Dave: means open wide. Maybe that was probably a bad one.

 

[00:20:34] Andi: We were having aggressive sex and you said to me I could feel the end of your tunnel. I

 

[00:20:43] Dave: mean you knew exactly what I was talking about. It’s the better way to say that.

 

[00:20:49] Andi: Did you beep your horn while you’re in the tunnel? You know like when you’re driving through a mountain

 

[00:20:53] Dave: or like when I was in the tunnel I had somebody playing the tuba that was great. But anyway no I do understand why tunnel is wrong but when you can come up with a term that I can replace it with it

 

[00:21:05] Andi: doesn’t really need to be a term. You could just be like I was all the way in. I was so deep. I was at the end of the not the

 

[00:21:13] Dave: tunnel. But did you see how many words you had to say to describe that you

 

[00:21:17] Andi: used the word tunnel to describe a straw.

 

[00:21:20] Dave: Yeah that’s a tall.

 

[00:21:23] Andi: This is, I just can’t.

 

[00:21:26] Dave: My logic is undeniable. No mood. So you agree with me. Would you be like that? So not move man. So I

 

[00:21:34] Andi: can’t say it like a surfer. It’s not a surfer word. It’s just a cool word. That’s all you have you had to do it while we were talking about the word made which doesn’t count. No, I’m the referee and the referee. I’ll give it to you. I went all the games and my answer about straw was correct to it has two holes, not one. Yeah. Okay. How can you have entry and exit from the same

 

[00:21:58] Dave: hole? Who says its entry or exit?

 

[00:22:02] Andi: That’s how a straw works.

 

[00:22:03] Dave: That’s what you have been told that there’s an entry and exit. I’ve been told I like to flip the straw and it becomes the

 

[00:22:09] Andi: opposite. The opposite exit is now an entry on the other end is now an exit. Therefore it’s a tunnel suck me whatever I can’t handle you. All right. So next question that you need to ponder Yeah, before you speak

 

[00:22:26] Dave: ponder before

 

[00:22:27] Andi: speak waffles or pancakes

 

[00:22:30] Dave: with regard

 

[00:22:31] Andi: to pick one. Which one do you pick waffles? That I told you to ponder it? I

 

[00:22:36] Dave: don’t want to ponder it. I like waffles and pancakes hands down. Do you ever see me go, hey, grab some more pancakes? No more legos or get some more Belgium waffles

 

[00:22:48] Andi: because we don’t have frozen pancakes, but we have frozen waffles in your garbage dumpster when it comes to eating. When’s the last time you saw me pancakes? When’s the last time you saw me make pancakes? It’s the only time. It’s the only reason you don’t eat them. But do you prefer them if you had the option? No, I can’t handle

 

[00:23:05] Dave: you. So there was a wrong answer that sounded more like a preference question there.

 

[00:23:11] Andi: I don’t prefer waffles because it’s too much work and the little squares soak up the syrup and the spongy. Also the, it’s hard to move the butter over all of the grid of the waffle and then it gets stuck in the square and then you eat up, You end up eating like not melted butter. I just think it’s a tragedy waffles are tragic. I have had to today.

 

[00:23:41] Dave: I was going to say you realized you had me pick up waffles this morning

 

[00:23:44] Andi: because it was easy.

 

[00:23:47] Dave: Do we even have any pancake mix or pancakes

 

[00:23:49] Andi: negative? But I do like pancakes.

 

[00:23:51] Dave: You prefer pancakes when you’re the one. I

 

[00:23:53] Andi: like raw pancakes pancakes. So I like to make the frying pan nice and melty buttery. A lot of butter in it. And then I make my pancake mix a little on the thin side, not super thick and then I get the pan very hot and then I poured in and it’s like, and then I flip it and just not long and where it’s like just yellow butter hill and white and

 

[00:24:20] Dave: then it’s like yoking in the

 

[00:24:21] Andi: middle. It’s not yo ki I can’t do the yoke but it’s real close. It’s not and I don’t even need syrup on those.

 

[00:24:29] Dave: You know what I find really funny whenever we’ve made some really nice breakfast is like, we’re like, oh, let’s go to the store, let’s grab some bacon, get some sausage, we’ll get some eggs. And then the highlight of the meal is when we get that little quick mix shit cake mix and that makes our meal boujee and it’s like a $2 thing of pancake mix,

 

[00:24:48] Andi: but you’re going to shake the hell out of it and then it starts pressurizing and it’s like going to explode

 

[00:24:53] Dave: if you don’t shake it with all your fucking might, it’s gonna have clumps in it.

 

[00:24:56] Andi: Yeah, who needs that? No, who needs that shit funk that. I’d buy some frozen ones, put them in the microwave for 30 seconds and you have a pancake but they’re not made like buttery yummy nous. Like

 

[00:25:07] Dave: I make them, you have to tell everybody about the pancakes with peanut butter on it.

 

[00:25:11] Andi: Yeah. So frozen pancakes that do heat up quick throw some creamy peanut butter on it and eat it. It’s good. It’s delicious. We’re going to have heart attacks

 

[00:25:20] Dave: and I was like,

 

[00:25:22] Andi: yeah, we do, We do, we’re stopping tomorrow,

 

[00:25:26] Dave: I’m not

 

[00:25:27] Andi: yes you are. How can

 

[00:25:28] Dave: you speak for the both of us and I

 

[00:25:29] Andi: have two bags of brussel sprouts and sucking disgusting. I’m going to make them, you’re going to eat them, you’re going to like it. You’re not, I love it, I love that. I know and I love vegetables. I could be a vegetarian in two seconds. It’s

 

[00:25:43] Dave: like the industry didn’t know how to get people to start eating brussels sprouts. So the best idea they had was to fucking burn them. Let’s charge some fucking brussels. People lead them, then they’re crispy, they’re crispy. All I do is get a blowtorch and you know, they

 

[00:25:56] Andi: don’t, it’s

 

[00:25:57] Dave: an art. It’s an art to deep fry some,

 

[00:26:00] Andi: you don’t deep fry them, you saute them in some olive oil and put some, some balsamic on it in a little froo froo flavor.

 

[00:26:09] Dave: You will never like brussels sprouts, I’m sorry, that’s disgusting.

 

[00:26:15] Andi: Your face is

 

[00:26:16] Dave: disgusting mood. You should can’t agree

 

[00:26:21] Andi: with yourself.

 

[00:26:23] Dave: That’s like giving yourself a high five. I do that all the time to take. My girl was so moved

 

[00:26:29] Andi: that I just found myself like that was damn

 

[00:26:32] Dave: good at what I said was some mood.

 

[00:26:34] Andi: It doesn’t work like and you’ve got to stop saying like you’re not in fucking Malibu

 

[00:26:39] Dave: slaying, I’m a surfer at that point, You

 

[00:26:42] Andi: know, you’re not what

 

[00:26:44] Dave: it’s like if I’m ordering the same thing when I ordered something from the drive thru. You actually made fun of me the other night, I was going to pick up some food and you sent me a text of or not to text a voice message of how I should order it.

 

[00:26:56] Andi: Yeah, because you sound like such a goober. Just so appropriate. Well you want to be so clear and so you don’t want anything to get messed up. So

 

[00:27:05] Dave: I’m like, I would like a number one.

 

[00:27:07] Andi: I’m like, they’re spitting in your tacos right

 

[00:27:09] Dave: now, right? And then I like number two, that’s it. They just dropped it on the floor.

 

[00:27:13] Andi: You need to have like tape between your glasses, a pocket

 

[00:27:17] Dave: protector. Oh really? Go all like nerds out. Nobody talks like that.

 

[00:27:21] Andi: Thanks. You say I want a number one with extra cheese and I know sour cream. Number two just can’t relax. You gotta be cool. You gotta be there like you’re not cool. Obviously you’re uptight so we don’t like

 

[00:27:33] Dave: you, which actually is very true to talk about this near our house. There’s a girl that wears always has really nice guy. Yeah, she looks really, she freaking loves you. So like when she goes to the drives with you, you to have conversations, I pull up to the window and she’s like, here’s your bag,

 

[00:27:46] Andi: here’s your bag

 

[00:27:47] Dave: dork. I know that’s really what I get because that’s how I order it because you just, you lay back and just order like a girl,

 

[00:27:53] Andi: She’s a girl was up. She said, I bet your makeup on Fleek and then we’re like bonded and she’s like, I got a side hustle that let’s meet at the Mac counter sister. Hell yeah, Let’s blend it,

 

[00:28:05] Dave: blend the ship out of it when

 

[00:28:06] Andi: the ship out of that eye shadow, question any time that a device that is electronic or something that requires buttons or charging or cords or anything doesn’t work. I hand it off to you because it’s like fix this. So why is it that even you do this? Why is it that when a remote control doesn’t work? People slap it like they hit it on their hand.

 

[00:28:34] Dave: It’s jingling the battery

 

[00:28:36] Andi: dangling, the battery,

 

[00:28:38] Dave: jingling the battery jingling when you do this. It’s like you’re getting in a better connection,

 

[00:28:43] Andi: jingling, jingling.

 

[00:28:45] Dave: I do the jingle method 1st and then I take the batteries out and put it back. Where the

 

[00:28:51] Andi: fun do you get your words jingle?

 

[00:28:53] Dave: You know, I kind of live in my own little realm. You do. So I make up ship, identify things differently. It’s just, it’s how I survive.

 

[00:29:03] Andi: You don’t jingle a remote, your jingle bells and this time of year you should know that

 

[00:29:10] Dave: described, it’s necessarily the definition of a jingle. Thank

 

[00:29:16] Andi: you. It’s specifically talking about bells,

 

[00:29:23] Dave: please hold, we’re going to take a moment while we google this sh it

 

[00:29:26] Andi: oh, I’m ready. I’m ready because I spell faster than you. A light ringing sound such as that made by metal objects that are shaken together the jingle of a bridal, a short slogan verse or tune designed to be easily remembered that especially as an advertising, like a jingle like that he makes advertising jingles make or cause to make a light metallic ringing sound like her bracelets were jingling, You’re still none of these.

 

[00:29:56] Dave: Let’s go back to the original one, your honor.

 

[00:29:59] Andi: That’s damn right.

 

[00:30:00] Dave: A light ringing sounds such as that made by metal objects being shaken together to metal objects. What are you doing when you’re shaking the batteries in a remote? They’re not meddled when you’re when they’re not banging the metals together to get the

 

[00:30:17] Andi: dumbest fucking excuse I’ve ever heard. That is

 

[00:30:21] Dave: Just Sucking one, You’re David

 

[00:30:23] Andi: fucking whatever your whatever I that is not what you do. Okay anyway, so people are jingling the remote allegedly because I think it’s a fucking bell. So obviously they need to be fucking committed somewhere because they think they’re ringing a bell. So that’s what the problem is.

 

[00:30:41] Dave: Right? So you think that, I think it’s jingling,

 

[00:30:44] Andi: so you think that shaking the remote alters the batteries into a new position of willingness to

 

[00:30:54] Dave: work creating a new contact. That is exactly what is happening. Thank you very much. I’m glad you could have me on the show today,

 

[00:31:01] Andi: If you could finish the sentence with one item, the first thing that comes to your mind finish the sentence before I die blank.

 

[00:31:11] Dave: I want to go to europe specifically. Maybe like Amsterdam because everything’s pretty much legal there so we can just go there and just spend the entire time stone going through having fun food and brothels, brothels, we’ll just wave at the windows and be like good work, you know that kind of thing. We go support our foreign sex workers. Uh huh. I mean I’m simple now. I get to fire right back at you with your prepared for it before I die. What would you do

 

[00:31:38] Andi: before I die? I was very, I was very different in my response. I was just thinking about sleep with Ryan Reynolds.

 

[00:31:49] Dave: Oh that’s a different game. That’s like if I die, who’s your like, one person, what is it? The bucket list?

 

[00:31:56] Andi: The bucket list list? Well, we know that johnny Depp and Ryan Reynolds are on it from this episode. Yeah, a very eclectic group of people on my bucket list because it goes like Ryan Reynolds, johnny Depp Pink

 

[00:32:13] Dave: the singer. Any of those want you please freeze on the top. That’s right. You totally want

 

[00:32:18] Andi: forgive me some Fergie. That’s for delicious. You

 

[00:32:24] Dave: liked your husband too. Didn’t you did So now you’re

 

[00:32:27] Andi: and they had a weenie dog, which I’m like, oh my God, just like, let’s just have a triad or what is it trouble, Trouble

 

[00:32:35] Dave: you want to have a rebel with Fergie and

 

[00:32:36] Andi: her do and I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have to leave you

 

[00:32:39] Dave: more Fergie or the dog.

 

[00:32:41] Andi: Of course I would put the dog more, but I would just want to like squish her

 

[00:32:46] Dave: squish.

 

[00:32:47] Andi: Yeah, she has a seductive face and eyes. She does. Her husband’s easy to look at as well. Well, it would just be like a big Pauling ceremony. Okay, so while you’re in Amsterdam Amsterdam,

 

[00:33:01] Dave: I’ll be in Amsterdam. You’re like, I’m not with you obviously now.

 

[00:33:05] Andi: Well, no, we would just be taking we would just be on hiatus.

 

[00:33:09] Dave: Okay, well, we don’t have to be on hiatus. I can wait in the waiting room when you meet with the waiting

 

[00:33:13] Andi: room where we had doctors.

 

[00:33:15] Dave: I’ll go shopping. We met at the hospital. He was in the way. All I want to know is do I get a video copy or not?

 

[00:33:21] Andi: Oh, I don’t know. I

 

[00:33:22] Dave: think that I think I should at least get that. I promise I won’t share it, but

 

[00:33:26] Andi: we probably have to sign. Nds that’s fine.

 

[00:33:28] Dave: As long as I get to keep the video footage for my own personal view and I’m sure

 

[00:33:31] Andi: I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. Hell yes. Okay, Alright, that sounds good. All

 

[00:33:35] Dave: right. And I think that’s all the time we have for this episode of quiet and kinky. I guess we can do a little run through today. You learned mood, which for all of those of you that I don’t know what that means. Now I’m sorry, mood, mood. And other than that, you had your only fans moment of the week where you got to hear a really seductive voice where I did from the other side of the house and that’s about what

 

[00:33:57] Andi: we got to talk about Bumble and Tinder and dating apps and how many holes of straw has and

 

[00:34:03] Dave: I just love you hearing you say the word holds so many times this episode. This has been great. And I just want to do that that segment

 

[00:34:10] Andi: what we would do if we could pick one thing before we died. The first thing that comes to our mind if we gave it more thought, I’m sure it wouldn’t be those things. Um Hedonistic lee speaking. That’s the first thing that comes to our minds.

 

[00:34:21] Dave: isn’t there something we said in a previous episode two that our first instinct was like sex or something not doing betterment for anything. Oh if we became the opposite sex for a day we would just fondle her. We just genitalia so that

 

[00:34:34] Andi: we would just masturbate and stare at ourselves all day.

 

[00:34:37] Dave: Look at this. Thank God we don’t have superpowers. We would have used them.

 

[00:34:40] Andi: Yeah, it’s true.

 

[00:34:42] Dave: Until next time guys. I’m dave

 

[00:34:45] Andi: and I’m Andy check us out at quiet and kinky dot com.

 

[00:34:49] Dave: It’s on youtube as quiet and kinky

 

[00:34:52] Andi: and we’re on twitter as well and instagram quiet and kinky are the handles for both

 

[00:34:58] Dave: of those and you can go straight to the dirty side of both of us on. only fans. And you can just go to only Andy dot com. And that’s A N D I dot com. A N D I. That’s beautiful. Thanks. Thanks for listening, guys. Thanks. Bye.

 

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