Meet Dave And Andi

In this episode you get to learn about Andi and Dave. What are some things that they love? What are some things that they hate? Does anybody really care? Probably not. But enjoy a sneak peek inside of their personal life.

 

 

Visit Quiet and Kinky Website: http://QuietAndKinky.com/
Follow Us on Twitter: @QuietAndKinky
Watch Our Streams on Youtube: https://lynxshort.com/6jwbu
Find Andi at: https://OnlyAndi.com

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[00:00:00] Dave: Hello and welcome to episode one of quiet and kinky. I’m dave. And uh, we decided to make a podcast and figured on the first one, we needed to just tell you a little bit about ourselves and who we are and everything that way. You can understand what the hell were coming from.

[00:00:18] Andi: Yeah, it’s true. We did our first episode at our kitchen table and totally scratched it and threw it in the garbage can. Oh yeah,

[00:00:25] Dave: yeah. We have way so much river. We learned a lot on this one.

[00:00:28] Andi: So one day, once we’re famous, they’re going to put that first episode in the Smithsonian. Oh yeah,

[00:00:34] Dave: because I’m going to save it.

[00:00:36] Andi: No, you’re not. It wasn’t even worth, it wasn’t even it’s

[00:00:40] Dave: garbage. I just want to use some of the blooper reels. Yeah, those were good were priceless. And

[00:00:45] Andi: we did have some good blooper reels and I think that what we’re going to do moving forward is since we’re notorious for blooper reels because we’ve done this before once in the Eu’s doors and we always create, We always included our blooper reels and I think we’re going to do that on this as well. I think we should. Yeah, so stay tuned after each episode for quiet and kinky, funked

[00:01:11] Dave: up version. Exactly. So jesse, you know, Andy and I were married, we’ve been married going on 11 years. Uh, so let’s see here. How did that start? So we met at work. I was a I. T. Guy. You were a nurse, you seduced

[00:01:28] Andi: me. Right? So we had a friend that played the middleman and lied to both of us and said oh she’s really into, you know he’s really wanting to meet you and we did like each other but she was lying.

[00:01:40] Dave: She was giving us different motives for her. Oh he wants a relationship and settle down for me. It’s oh she just wants to get freaky. So I’m like yes. Yeah but when I met you that was not the case. You know you made me work for it.

[00:01:56] Andi: I did worth it. You earned it, thank you. Welcome. Get the grand prize.

[00:02:02] Dave: So now we can officially. So since we met we literally have worked for the same companies and work together that entire time. So I hear all the time from other couples wondering how do we continue not to kill each other even though we were around each other so much. We just have that kind of chemistry. I

[00:02:22] Andi: guess you were one of the rare couples that can be around each other around the clock, not be like, oh my God,

[00:02:31] Dave: I don’t know what it is, I can’t get tired of you.

[00:02:33] Andi: Thanks. I’m just you know, I’m like addictive

[00:02:37] Dave: totally.

[00:02:39] Andi: No we just drive well and we just we just we know when to give each other space and whatever. Just walks to the other

[00:02:47] Dave: side of the room, right? Just like I know in the mornings when you wake up you don’t look at you until you’ve had your coffee.

[00:02:53] Andi: No it’s not even coffee. I just gotta wake up feisty because in the summer I don’t even drink coffee.

[00:03:00] Dave: What do you drink? Vodka? That’s I mean water looks

[00:03:06] Andi: like water smells like water,

[00:03:08] Dave: but definitely

[00:03:11] Andi: water, but orange juice in it. It’s like a breakfast drink.

[00:03:14] Dave: Oh, I like it. What about Mimosa? Makes a little champagne them with

[00:03:17] Andi: a little girly little girl. It’s fun though.

[00:03:21] Dave: So also during this show, we poke fun at each other. We make fun of each other. Neither one of us take it seriously. That’s just part of our relationship. We also would like to state that never take what we say seriously or as a fact that the case here,

[00:03:41] Andi: nothing should ever be taken as factual. And at most everything I say sarcasm. So if I’m not picking on you, I don’t really like you.

[00:03:52] Dave: It’s sarcasm and dirty.

[00:03:53] Andi: Oh yeah, there’s always an element perversion.

[00:03:56] Dave: She can make anything dirty. Yeah, I don’t like I’m a guy and I would think that I as the guy would have a dirty. Your mind. Your mind is worse.

[00:04:07] Andi: Yeah, hands down. More than most people. Most people look at me. They have no idea the filth that’s going through my head.

[00:04:13] Dave: Like what’s going through right now?

[00:04:15] Andi: I mean, I can’t tell you this microphone looks really suggestive,

[00:04:19] Dave: see what I mean? Just instantaneously just look in front of you and you see something.

[00:04:23] Andi: I can’t. But

[00:04:25] Dave: so what are some other things about us?

[00:04:27] Andi: So we are very uh, let’s see, adventurous would be a good word. We’ve done all kinds of crazy things. So we’ve started businesses together. We’ve taken leaps of faith and left jobs to to chase a new adventure or even on our vacations, we’ve gone to nude resorts and sexually open resorts and all kinds of places internationally and just to see what the hell that’s all about. And that’s been fun

[00:05:00] Dave: and I’m an exhibitionist. So hard. So yeah, if I could be on a nude beach, I’ll be there all

[00:05:04] Andi: day. He’s a caveman at heart. Thank you. Just walk around showing all your ship.

[00:05:09] Dave: You mean that more ways than one. I’m dirty as hell too, aren’t i?

[00:05:12] Andi: I know I didn’t, but that’s accurate. Yeah, I didn’t mean it that way, but

[00:05:19] Dave: that’s accurate that I’m dirty too. Yeah. Yeah. I like to think that during this podcast, I sound like I’m the one with structure and you’re the one with chaos when really our lives are the exact opposite. I’m like a fricking hurricane.

[00:05:32] Andi: Yeah, you are. I’m the organized one. I’m the clean one. I’m always keeping everything tidy and cleaning up behind Dave all the time. He’s like a little cyclone just destroys everything for this. Fine. I’m used to

[00:05:45] Dave: it with the title? Quiet and kinky. I think I’m more than Quiet and you’re, you’re most definitely the kinky

[00:05:51] Andi: true. I’m a quiet moments. I’m, I’m very much of a people watcher. So, um, that’s when I’m quiet. I’m just very, and I’m just analyzing. I’m just

[00:06:02] Dave: analytical. We do that a

[00:06:03] Andi: lot. I love to people watch people fascinate me because they’re usually insane.

[00:06:10] Dave: Yeah, just like us,

[00:06:12] Andi: we’re at a different level of insane.

[00:06:15] Dave: So what’s our insanity level?

[00:06:19] Andi: We are extremely introverted. But we do the craziest things that involve lots of people like ken is going to a new resort or sexually open resort. Um, but then we’ve also gone to those resorts and party and had a good time and then seven or eight o’clock rolls around and we order room service and literally watch forensic files where everybody else is like dancing downstairs, getting wasted and having a great time. We’re just not feeling it that night and we just closed

[00:06:49] Dave: off. You know what I love because you’re saying that so our last trip to Mexico, we started only Vance. We did, we did. So literally, we just, and we had no idea. We have a friend of ours that had started an only fans and was doing very well and she’s gorgeous and great. And we decided, hey, let’s give it a shot here and we did it in Mexico.

[00:07:11] Andi: Yeah. Yeah. So r one of our clips is from that very

[00:07:16] Dave: room. So that very weekend we decided to open an only fans. So yeah, we’ve come a long way in our marriage and

[00:07:24] Andi: we do things on a whim, not irresponsibly. We are very responsible people. But we do them on a whim meaning we’re sitting, you know on the beach in Mexico. And it’s like let’s do it. And so Dave gets to work, he’s buying up a website and I’m flip it open social media and we’re snapping pictures. So we just kind of go into this monster work mode. We’re kind of a beast together because you do your part. I do my part and we just hammer that shut out.

[00:07:55] Dave: And besides it, when anybody may think only fans is a lot of work, especially

[00:08:01] Andi: for you. Well it’s for both of us, it’s a full time job, luckily, um luckily I um I’m no longer in the corporate world. So I have time during the day because it’s I mean anybody that wants only man’s to be super successful knows they have to do it

[00:08:24] Dave: all the time, right? And it has some kind of like a family job. It’s both of ours now because I do a lot of your video editing and I say you’re our video editing where in them together a lot of the time. But yeah, I mean it’s interesting and I started thinking this, so the ups and Fedex guys deliver stuff every morning and I always have to wonder if my blinds are open just enough for them to see what I’m editing because most the time it’s you being naked on the screen

[00:08:50] Andi: because your office is at the front of the house, near where they come up the front steps. So it’s like, oh, hi. Oh, I wonder why they take such a long time going back down the steps. They’re just, you know, making sure everything’s in place. What is that? Who is that?

[00:09:08] Dave: So with that, I’ll lead into my first question with you. So number one, when it comes to three things that you really, really like, we’ll go back and forth. So if you’re like, like iconic points of view.

[00:09:24] Andi: So I made a note to myself. So, Okay, so this is which 1? three things that are your favorite that I love, three things that I love and this is going to obviously exclude the obvious things like sex or sex and world peace. And you know,

[00:09:43] Dave: wait, just so we clarify, I went to sex first. You went to

[00:09:46] Andi: world peace. I did because I’m the more noble human than you. Very true. Um, No. So three things that I absolutely

[00:09:58] Dave: Love and we’ll go back and forth one at a time. Okay,

[00:10:01] Andi: so the first one is, is a little strange and I don’t think that I share this with many people, but it’s something that I get to experience on a weekly basis. So I know where you’re going. So our trash day is on friday and that is like a renewal cleansing for me. I don’t know what it is, but I started thinking about trash day, the day after trash day.

[00:10:34] Dave: So to give you an idea. We go through a lot of trash somehow. Some way I guess we order a bunch of ships are trash cans are always overfilled over the top. So yes, it’s a continue and it’s

[00:10:47] Andi: just the two of us. So it’s not like we’ve got like a family of six that we’re taking diapers out to the camp. We always are doing a home project or we’re ordering stuff or whatever. Uh, and something about having the trash being taken away is like some kind of weird, like I said, it’s like a slow, it’s like a soul cleansing. It’s like a renewal for me. So our trash company comes extremely early, like 6 30 Between 6:30 and seven morning and I can hear the rumble of the truck because where our bedroom is near where the driveway is at. And I got like, oh, and I’ve had that short little panic feeling because I’m afraid I forgot to put the trash up. But then I’m like, oh yeah, I’ve been planning this all week. It’s yeah, they’re almost

[00:11:41] Dave: here. Do you want to know why? I know you’re sick. I’m not done yet. Okay.

[00:11:46] Andi: I know what you’re going to say to

[00:11:48] Dave: Okay.

[00:11:49] Andi: Mm hmm. And I can hear them coming and I’m like, oh, that’s, that’s my boy’s coming for me. Oh God, But go ahead. I know what you’re going

[00:12:02] Dave: to say no, no. You know, so the other morning this is every friday, I don’t know that. This is it. Yeah, every friend of mine but this, but there’s like two or three weeks ago I’m laying in bed. It’s probably like 66 30 so it’s still dark outside and we have a sound machine on just by the way. So yeah, the sound machines going

[00:12:21] Andi: sounds like a plane engine. Uh

[00:12:24] Dave: and then all of a sudden I hear Andy here walking into the bathroom and then I can actually see her in the mirror above the sink looking out the fucking window. You were lifting up the little blind, looking out the window. Now it was adorable as hell because you have to be in the tub for this. So you’re in the tub lifting up our little occurred and you just get your little nightie on and you didn’t think I saw you. I didn’t care. Does that happen every morning or every, every friday? Every friday. If our garbage man end up hearing this, you can just look over the window and see you staring at him.

[00:12:59] Andi: Yeah, that’s fine. I okay. Yeah. You’re my favorite people. Yeah there and it’s just like watching them throw it away and put the can and I’m like, oh and then I want to immediately go run and get the can because I want to be the good neighbor that nobody ever sees the gangs we put out the night before and then they come at the ice crack of dawn and take it away.

[00:13:22] Dave: Okay. I didn’t know that about you now. I know why you rushed to do it.

[00:13:25] Andi: Yeah. Yeah, that’s the thing. I just want people to be like where do they, what do they do with their trash And like don’t you want to know

[00:13:32] Dave: the little things in life? I love you.

[00:13:34] Andi: It’s a thing. So that’s what, that’s my first favorite thing. What’s

[00:13:37] Dave: yours? My first favorite thing. I guess the oldest thing would be pizza. I lied. Any form of pizza, thin crust deep dish. I do not discriminate. Now I do discriminate on toppings. I don’t like anything that was in the ocean to be on my

[00:13:54] Andi: pizza.

[00:13:57] Dave: No little fish. No no fancy shit, nothing like that. Fruit, no fruit, no fruit friends in high school. I always get the pineapple the Hawaiian pizza and we do that because we ordered the Hawaiian because we never ordered the Hawaiian. And when the Hawaiian would come I’d be like we didn’t order this. And and and the the pizza guy and be like, oh yeah I know you guys never order Hawaiian. I’m like yeah because I don’t like Hawaiian.

[00:14:25] Andi: Have you actually

[00:14:26] Dave: had it? Well here’s the funny thing. And then we were like, well I mean you’re here men, I mean if I need to take the pizza off you, I can so I end up getting a free pizza. Did you try it? Oh that, oh I’ve had wine. It’s nasty. It’s suck. I think that I peeled the pineapples off and I just have the cheese.

[00:14:42] Andi: I think as a there’s ham and pineapple

[00:14:45] Dave: on. Well I mean I didn’t, I mean I peel the pineapple because I love him anything from a pick. I love,

[00:14:51] Andi: do you know why that’s called Hawaiian pizza? Because it has pineapples on it and you’re just limiting it to that you’ve never heard of like the the roasting pigs and things like that they do in hawaii. Hence the ham.

[00:15:03] Dave: They did not have that course and my educational correct. It’s just

[00:15:06] Andi: kind of common knowledge. I don’t remember anybody actually teaching it to me, it’s just kind of what you know.

[00:15:10] Dave: So this is new. Thank you.

[00:15:14] Andi: Put them in the ground actually.

[00:15:16] Dave: Well the biggest reason I didn’t never associate it is because I never really cared about Hawaiian pizza. But see that’s a fun fact. That’s a fun fact and I think that as they put the pigs in the ground and they cook it and cover it up. Oh there’s some good old stuff.

[00:15:30] Andi: Yeah. So the thing is is that you have grown since then and I think you should try it again. I don’t think I should. I

[00:15:39] Dave: think you should. I still don’t like

[00:15:41] Andi: I think you should try it again. No, I love pineapples.

[00:15:44] Dave: Okay, I’ll try

[00:15:45] Andi: it. Excellent. Anti inflammatory and they have a lot of vitamin C and they taste quite

[00:15:50] Dave: nice. Do do do do do do do the more, you know

[00:15:54] Andi: my second favorite thing, um if you are happen to be watching this on Youtube, you’ll see that there is a small canine in my lap and he has a belly ache. So if you hear a lot of belly grumbles on this podcast because his little belly is turning and he saw the vet and he got some special food, but he’s just a little old man. So my second favorite thing, his animals and this little guy in my lap is Stewie. He’s our little nine year old doxy.

[00:16:24] Dave: Now, he’s supposed to be a doctor. Somebody has extremely long legs and we love him. We do, he’s a freak of nature,

[00:16:31] Andi: but he’s a total brain, He twirls

[00:16:33] Dave: all the time, he’s missing quite a few teeth now.

[00:16:34] Andi: But I I am very drawn to animals, like I can be having the worst day and I’m driving home from somewhere and a cute dog can have his head poked out of a car window and pass me. I’m like puppy, like it’s and it’s all animals. It’s bunnies volunteer. Yeah. At a little dog sanctuary. So yeah, but that’s for that. It’s not just dogs. Still, I’m not limited to, I probably like birds the least of that, but that’s not really, that’s really going down a rabbit hole, get it rabbit wow.

[00:17:14] Dave: Okay.

[00:17:15] Andi: Yeah, So, but yeah, I’m the one that would crash my car into a tree. Do not hit a chipmunk or something. So yeah, I see that. Yeah. And if I’m like, if I’m trying to design wine and I want to just, I was telling you so bad,

[00:17:34] Dave: poor little

[00:17:35] Andi: man. Um, and I just, I get on Tiktok, which is so awful because you can’t get back out. It’s just like, it’s

[00:17:44] Dave: like a devil cursed tunnel a hole forever. But

[00:17:47] Andi: it’s funny because everything on my phone is super sexual, all my social media and I have only fans and fans li and all these things on my phone, but you know, ticktock reads you and read in follows and knows what you like and start kind of navigating you towards things that you like, you get on my feet instead of like sexy people. It’s like golden doodle. Here’s a puppy. Here’s a bunny, like a dancing kitty.

[00:18:13] Dave: Well, the exact same thing I got my instagram. I was on instagram the other day. I showed you my phone and it was all like models and naked women all the way down through on instagram and then the only video on the top, right, it’s always a bunny. Like, okay, we, we have a bunch of bunch of bunny videos we’ve watched. So for some reason every time I go there, it’s just a bunch of half naked women and then a funny video on the top, right, which I always click on the bunny video has had to watch. It can

[00:18:41] Andi: be very concerning. You know what you’re saying with bunnies,

[00:18:45] Dave: what I’m saying? You’re the one that has the bunny fluffer body video

[00:18:49] Andi: thing for the bubbles. Yeah,

[00:18:51] Dave: these are all parts of

[00:18:55] Andi: the, I sing really good. What’s number two for

[00:19:02] Dave: Dave # two, my biggest pastime I guess is VR I like to play shooting games and virtual reality games and quest to. It is so nerd for a man, my age is to do that I guess. But During the day I’m I’m constantly working at a computer so I just want to stand up, move around. So I take a break and go shoot some people for about 15 minutes and then get back to

[00:19:27] Andi: Work. You look good for 57,

[00:19:29] Dave: 57. Thank you.

[00:19:31] Andi: Welcome. So you shoot things I do and the times you’ve let me kind of I don’t really get into the techie nerdy world, but you’ve given me your VR headset watch. I’m looking at animals. I’m not shooting anything tigers in the wilderness.

[00:19:50] Dave: You put it on, I put it on youtube 3 60 you’re going through the jungles and stuff like that, baby elephants, you’re so peaceful,

[00:19:57] Andi: you know, very soon. So you like kind of the techie world, The nerd games. Not so much um video

[00:20:06] Dave: game, no, not so much. I don’t play any of the video consoles like playstation and stuff like that. It’s just the VR I think for some reason it just captivate me because I’m using all my body during the process. You look

[00:20:18] Andi: really? I say this with love. You look like a complete fucking moron.

[00:20:22] Dave: How many videos do you have of me doing? I just don’t know

[00:20:25] Andi: proof. It doesn’t even matter it and I think that’s anybody

[00:20:30] Dave: that’s why do I look, Why do I look so bad while I’m doing it

[00:20:32] Andi: because you’re so determined to do absolutely nothing. What do you mean? Like swatting it ship? That’s not there. I know half the stuff in the room has been knocked over and broken.

[00:20:43] Dave: I have a good zone now. I don’t have a stopover anymore.

[00:20:46] Andi: No, I’ve gone into your office and found like spills that you thought you cleaned up because you dave cleaned it.

[00:20:53] Dave: I probably didn’t have my glasses on.

[00:20:56] Andi: Okay, well like I said, You’re 57, so your vision isn’t what it

[00:21:00] Dave: used was, as my wife likes to say, I’m inbred it’s

[00:21:04] Andi: okay. Hold it against, you know, appreciate that. So. No, but it’s silly and I can hear the people. It’s not silly. It’s silly to me because I don’t care.

[00:21:14] Dave: Oh no, it’s silly. I know it’s silly but I love doing it, it’s okay,

[00:21:17] Andi: But I can hear the people that you’re online with some yelling and like in the game with you and sometimes they sound like they’re like 11 years old and

[00:21:28] Dave: they’re screaming. Yeah, they’re always yelling. I finally learned how to mute most of those. Yeah. But yeah, I can imagine that. That was annoying to hear. Probably.

[00:21:36] Andi: I’m sorry. I don’t care. It’s fine. I just tune you out and watch somebody videos on Tiktok. That’s true. But my headphones and I’m like, and

[00:21:44] Dave: watch them. The designing women. I think

[00:21:46] Andi: that’s okay.

[00:21:47] Dave: Well that’s fine. Yeah. I’m not judging you for that. Thanks passed on

[00:21:50] Andi: it on a loop. Clean my sex toys. Get ready for my next kit, 1989.

[00:21:56] Dave: I love how just throwing that in there. Just cleaning my sex toys. It’s just a standard occasioning. Just what we do on Tuesdays.

[00:22:02] Andi: Always want to clean your sex toys.

[00:22:04] Dave: Absolutely make sure you use the right kind of

[00:22:06] Andi: cleaner too because they will damage your sex toys, but always

[00:22:08] Dave: clean them. That’s right,

[00:22:10] Andi: grows. So my third, Um, is food. I can eat 24 hours a day all the time. All the food, any food. I am a foodie

[00:22:20] Dave: and I love it when we do go on vacation and we go to the states where you can get some gummies, you eat fucking

[00:22:26] Andi: everything. Yeah, I don’t really even get silly stoned. I just get hungry and

[00:22:32] Dave: then what do you do? You get like an hour of the funny Celis and then it varies in then you just want to eat things

[00:22:38] Andi: and I get angry like I will say I want half a rack of ribs like I don’t just say I want, I want, I want an animal.

[00:22:45] Dave: We went and visited some friends and when we got there we asked if we could go get her some food and you wanted to go to the place, nobody else wanted food. Everybody else was good. You just wanted ribs and some slaw.

[00:22:57] Andi: Well we had had had had a gummy and we had already stopped at Mcdonald’s

[00:23:01] Dave: and that’s right. A little garbage food total track that was supposed to get us past the gummy. Right? Yes.

[00:23:07] Andi: And then when we got back to their house and it was only like an hour and a half before we had just eaten an entire combo at Mcdonald’s and like let’s go to that rib place. You’re like, no, I’m like, I’m going to go to the rib place and I went, got that and then we ordered pizza later and then we ate charcuterie and

[00:23:23] Dave: pretzels and then there was cookies and fondue. Yeah, jesus. We, we really did eat a lot of

[00:23:29] Andi: shit.

[00:23:30] Dave: So yeah, you love food. Every type of food. You’re not, you’re willing to try new things. Even make me try new things that are very disgusting in my opinion. But

[00:23:39] Andi: yeah, I mean I don’t like everything. I want to like it, but I’ll at least try it.

[00:23:44] Dave: You like to, especially if it’s like something that sounds fancy doesn’t even have to be fancy. Can just sound it.

[00:23:50] Andi: I guess cargo. Sounded sounded while I reckon. Yeah you sound that sounds

[00:23:55] Dave: good. You guys are better sound that escort got out. Ask our God, bringing on that. Askar got out here.

[00:24:02] Andi: I mean I ain’t going no buttery snails.

[00:24:04] Dave: What the fuck? Really? I I’ve never had a scar going. You have? I’ve seen you. Yes I didn’t you. That’s why I thought I only got you to eat it. I told you we

[00:24:15] Andi: tried it. We were both. It was forced upon us by some of your family members.

[00:24:20] Dave: And it’s obviously a memory I do not want to remember. Must have tasted that

[00:24:24] Andi: bad. Well the sauce was good. The

[00:24:27] Dave: sauce. The snail trail sauce is what that was me. It was gross. That was oh I remember it was a little browned tray and they were like little balls tannery. Oh yeah. That, okay. I don’t ever want to see that

[00:24:40] Andi: again. But we did

[00:24:41] Dave: it. You did it. Here’s the thing I remember that tray. I do not recall consuming from that friday

[00:24:49] Andi: and then oysters. I wanted to love them. I want to love them. If there’s any way I can figure out because there’s so many different types of oysters. For one thing I was with Dave when I tried my first oyster and nobody decided to tell me that you don’t fucking choose the oyster.

[00:25:08] Dave: Yeah so the first time she’s having and she just slides it in and she just starts chewing on everybody at the table just starts screaming like,

[00:25:16] Andi: why didn’t you free? I just said I’d never had an oyster. So why didn’t you tell me? Don’t you said slimy

[00:25:24] Dave: looking in hindsight. You’re right. That you probably should have been told that

[00:25:29] Andi: that would have been a friendly suggestion to somebody that’s never fucking done. But it’s not common

[00:25:35] Dave: sense. No, everyone else around you ate them before you get to it. I’ve

[00:25:39] Andi: been spending a lot of years chewing food. Okay. I don’t know why I would just say, I think this is something you just don’t you like, I’ve never, I’ve never had that

[00:25:51] Dave: thought. Yeah, I can probably agree with that one.

[00:25:54] Andi: So if it’s an exception and you know that somebody has not had it before, maybe, hey, hey, just so you know this.

[00:26:03] Dave: I know I know everything you’ve consumed right now. You, you chew. Um, this one you just slide

[00:26:09] Andi: down and I mean, you know better than anyone that I’m fine with swallowing. Yes, you are. You definitely are. But I didn’t know about that and everybody starts yelling at me. So then I start panicking because I don’t realize what they’re saying. I’m like, oh, I eat the wrong one or something. So, and we’re at this fancy as country club and I don’t want to like spit it under the table. So I’m just like,

[00:26:30] Dave: and so ever since then we have never consumed oysters again. No, I still want to think we were both emotionally scarred from that

[00:26:36] Andi: night. There’s still so many different kinds in different ways you can get them. So I’m not giving up on them. I will try them

[00:26:42] Dave: again. Oyster Rockefeller and stuff like that. Like that. There’s all kind of fancy ship out there.

[00:26:48] Andi: So your third was kind of the text.

[00:26:49] Dave: My third was kind of the tech toys and everything is the

[00:26:52] Andi: latest of what’s out. It’s like, oh, look, and he, I love how you come to me and you’re like, oh, look at what this can do to make your life easier. I’m like, I’m not buying

[00:27:01] Dave: that. I always have to do the sales pitch. Like, you know when we’re buying things, we don’t just go crazy. We talk about everything. You know, I eventually get some good toys, but I’ll sit here and I’ll give her the sales pitch because originally I don’t want it to seem like I’m begging for it. Like I don’t want it to seem like it’s something I truly want and need. So what I’m gonna do is I’m going to bring this item to you. For instance, we have a new camera system that I’m like, oh

[00:27:24] Andi: yes, Oh my God. And every time I would turn the car, you know, if we had that three camera system, like your

[00:27:31] Dave: life would be great. So I, I go to her and I’m just, I’m first, I’m like, watch this video and see how cool this is. Look at the reviews like I’m a salesman coming to her for this and then eventually. So the way it works is that’s the inception. It puts the idea in your head and then two weeks later I’ll try it again and it’s like a 5050 you’ll say, and then you’ll say, well, go ahead and order it.

[00:27:57] Andi: I don’t think that will happen on

[00:28:00] Dave: this. I think it should. I publicly stated. So I hope people ask us whether or not we got the three camera system.

[00:28:05] Andi: No, I’m not an easy

[00:28:07] Dave: sell because this would make some great videos. So

[00:28:10] Andi: tell me Dave, what are three things are your first of three things that you

[00:28:13] Dave: hate. All things that I hate. I hate onions. Food wise. I think it tastes disgusting. The consistency is disgusting. Um, That’s just the raw onions. I mean like when they’re on a burger, when it’s like fried or something, that’s, that’s when it’s cooked, I still try to avoid it because

[00:28:35] Andi: you have it in your mind that you don’t like them, so you don’t eat them. But when they slipped in your food and you don’t know, you’re like, that’s super tasty, no,

[00:28:42] Dave: no, no. So you always think because they’re mixed in with the food, that means, oh, he likes onions. No, they snuck in there. I don’t like this meal because it has onions. I like this meal and it also includes

[00:28:54] Andi: onion. You actually will mention how good something is ironic about whatever.

[00:29:00] Dave: So okay now tell me what is something that you don’t like.

[00:29:04] Andi: So I hate it when people call me number one it’s 2021. Don’t, don’t I don’t care how fucking much I love you don’t call me, don’t don’t fucking call me.

[00:29:18] Dave: Do not call me. Well it’s like most of the time anytime anybody needs to cause it it requires one text. One text could have

[00:29:25] Andi: just say it in text. I’m that person and let me let me just take this a step farther. If you call me, do not make your first question to me. What are you doing? Hello? Hey, what are you doing? Uh Well like many times do you really want to fucking know what I’m doing? True true. Because most of the time I don’t really have an answer

[00:29:51] Dave: my family calls, they don’t want to ask me that. But

[00:29:53] Andi: that’s the thing is so what if I’m standing in the kitchen and I’m putting dishes open to the dishwasher. Does that person really want to know that I’m currently loading the dishwasher start your fucking reason for your call. Okay Because what I’m doing is what the what in my mind the first thing you say to somebody if you have to call, which means somebody is currently bleeding out. That’s only

[00:30:20] Dave: everybody. Hello

[00:30:22] Andi: or dying soon. Okay. But what you actually say is do you have a minute? Hey, do you have a second? Okay meaning are you in them? Like okay.

[00:30:35] Dave: Is all well, are you currently not bleeding? Are you busy? Are you alive? Did you just recently get in a car accident? But

[00:30:42] Andi: do not call me and do not say to me, what are you doing? Okay, don’t do that. Okay. If you can tell, I’m passionate, don’t do

[00:30:53] Dave: that. I can kind of see that now I’ve been married to you long enough. I rarely call, you know, because you

[00:30:57] Andi: know better. The sound of my phone makes my spine

[00:31:00] Dave: hurt. Here is a fun fact. The last time you and I talked on the cell phone, I think you butt dialed me. I did. And that was over a week ago. Yeah. You accidentally called me had just gotten done texting and then your phone calls me and I just hear you in the background

[00:31:15] Andi: because I don’t even know how to work my damn phone. You know why? Because I don’t fucking call people. That’s why

[00:31:19] Dave: you know the problem with me though in texas and if anybody gets text for me, they’ll know this. I sound very bland or yeah, okay. And asshole sounds good. Um I sound very asshole and text. Now that’s the problem with text, you can’t have context so you can see my face when I’m texting. I’m actually smiling and laughing and giggling, but when Yeah, and if you can’t see it right now, she’s just making fun of every face I may. So yes, I do. In my mind, I’m adding enthusiasm and

[00:31:49] Andi: that you can’t see or read true, but you sent it with your

[00:31:53] Dave: soul. I sent it with my soul. So in my mind, I don’t sound dick ish, but when you go back and you just read my text and you can’t have personality with it, it ends up making me sound real dick ish. Now I do that in emails to I’m very to the point of past pleasantries, it’s ringing emails, You’re

[00:32:11] Andi: not past pleasantries. Your past rude.

[00:32:14] Dave: Thank you. That’s true. Problem. You

[00:32:17] Andi: could probably pill of sugar on that. I could probably do. This is coming from somebody that isn’t

[00:32:21] Dave: sugar much. Yeah. I don’t very sugar coat. I’ll work on that though,

[00:32:24] Andi: I promise. So what’s the second thing you hate?

[00:32:26] Dave: I I do have a thing. I don’t I’m not afraid of spiders. I’m not like, oh God, spider and I just don’t function like them. Now when I see a spider though, I feel like I have spiders crawling all over me. After like the other day, we were out on our front porch and you were looking up at the ceiling and there was a spider that was on the ceiling Now at that point I was just looking at it going, oh God it’s gonna jump down and attack me and I’m gonna feel. And for some reason when I see a spider. I always think babies. So like where there’s one, they will multiply and there will be millions. So and then the worst part about it was is I started feeling like spiders were all over me at that time and then only to find out that spider was dead. He came to our front porch

[00:33:10] Andi: to die upside down on the ceiling.

[00:33:12] Dave: Like he didn’t even have a web up there. He just wept himself up and just said this seems like a good place. And

[00:33:17] Andi: why do you know that the spider was dead?

[00:33:19] Dave: You told me he was dead. Exactly. Okay. That’s where you’re going with that. Okay. Yeah. So you did go get a broom. She she is a master um bug killer. I will go for wasps, bees. But crazy looking psychotic spiders. No.

[00:33:36] Andi: The thing is is that you wanted to take your shoe off and throw it up and hit the ceiling of our porch that we just paid thousands of dollars in your entire house painted. See that’s where you make. So why would you splatter? No. And then it’s going to fall to nowhere, but it’s dead.

[00:33:50] Dave: It’s not

[00:33:50] Andi: bothering if you don’t miss it and then he falls and then crawls into your bed and sucks your blood right out of your

[00:33:56] Dave: bag. I’m glad I didn’t have Children with you. A cock bag. It’s something a bag. Perhaps you put your dough that looks like

[00:34:04] Andi: a dildo that looks like a cock

[00:34:07] Dave: jesus. Don’t,

[00:34:08] Andi: don’t have your imagination is sorely

[00:34:10] Dave: go into the nightstand.

[00:34:12] Andi: My second thing that I hate is shopping at the grocery store. Oh, I don’t do well with this and why? Because when I walk through the door at a grocery store, yeah, I have a superpower, I become invisible and nobody can see

[00:34:30] Dave: me. This is true. Now I want to let this continue by stating in our marriage, I do not get road rage. You don’t anymore when we got married, you did?

[00:34:41] Andi: Well, I spent a lot of time on the highway.

[00:34:43] Dave: You spend a lot of time cussing to people on the highway, Let’s go back to the grocery store, carry

[00:34:47] Andi: on. So I become invisible and nobody can see me And they cannot see my grocery guard. That’s true. So I’m walking down on my lane of the whatever, aisle nine and people just walk in front like they did. And I literally look at Dave and I’m, I’m mildly abrupt and probably not quiet and I go, can you see me Dave, can you see me? Because I don’t think anybody else can see me. She literally

[00:35:20] Dave: stops and turns around like somebody, I walked straight fucking right in front, she stops, turns around and looks at me and do you see me? But the

[00:35:27] Andi: thing is, is in their peripheral vision, I am like three ft from their body, okay. And like I’m I’m right here and I’m this close to your person and you can see me. If anything you can feel me.

[00:35:43] Dave: Yeah, there’s a vibe that the energy is presence within the vicinity of you and

[00:35:47] Andi: you act like I’m not there, so I’m gonna act like you’re not there and I’m just going to keep driving my car and then go, oh I am so sorry, I didn’t see you. I guess you didn’t see me either. I guess this is the nosy people are,

[00:36:04] Dave: I’m sorry. Now you gave me some vitamin C. Used to give me anxiety and grocery stores. It was a very big part of our marriage first couple of years

[00:36:16] Andi: time, I don’t

[00:36:17] Dave: understand. But but honestly after all these years you were so much better in grocery stores. I just before you really like smashing people. Like at this point like excuse me, we would be in the grocery store and I just feel like you want to go sit in the car, I can finish the rest of this. I got

[00:36:35] Andi: this security is coming, you need to go out like

[00:36:37] Dave: at this point we haven’t even gotten half our stuff from the car and I’m worried about going through checkout with you

[00:36:42] Andi: little kids in the grocery store. What you see, they levitate. I don’t think they see their Children running amok.

[00:36:50] Dave: What I find is something that’s normal with us is we tend to walk together and when we do there’s like a group of Children with somebody else that tends to like levitate around us and they leave their parents. So then were walking and people think these little ships are our kids and we’re like we don’t fucking know these people

[00:37:07] Andi: and they’re like little guys you need to take care of your own like this do not come out of the who ha well I do not know

[00:37:12] Dave: these. The last time that happened we’re going to walk. The woman walked up so it looks like it was the two of us and it looks like these three kids were with us and as we walk up the woman started smiling and then she had a dog. So then the three little kids just walked up converged, converged on her and she was smiling. Think when we were with them we just walked right back,

[00:37:29] Andi: pull your kids back, pull your kids back or like they’re not ours. I’m not touching that. Can I touch your dog.

[00:37:35] Dave: No, no. And we just write that does happen then that happens to you in grocery stores as well.

[00:37:41] Andi: Yes. So number three for Dave,

[00:37:43] Dave: one of the biggest things I really do hate doing is reading, I hate reading emails. I hate reading text. I hate detailed reading of any sort. So like it kills me to get a grocery list from you because I have to read it when I’m at the store well and

[00:38:01] Andi: your job as with most people, most people’s jobs now is email based. Everything you do is digital. So you hate reading so much. You skim over the highlights when you actually have a very detailed job profession and you put like a third of what was requested in the email into your work and then they’re like, what about this, this and this and you didn’t ask for this now, You didn’t fucking read it?

[00:38:28] Dave: No, no, that’s very rare these days is very real and I’m one of those people now there was a thing that you could read that the letters were all mixed up in the words but the first letter and the last letter you could basically were this were correct but the words and letters and mobile switched around, I could still read that because my brain was translating just based on the first and last. But the problem is I do that in daily life and then my brain translates words very wrong. So I read things very wrong and half the time I don’t like to read things out loud to you so you can make fun of the things I can correctly say or hear because we make it up all the time. And then she gives me so much because I’m like I can’t be wrong.

[00:39:12] Andi: Well he always comes up with the cute little sayings, he will take a little um I don’t know, just a common thing, like, so for instance, don’t shoot yourself in the foot, right? Yeah, for instance, this week Dave comes up and says, don’t bite yourself in your own foot, but bite somebody else. I think I

[00:39:33] Dave: said, don’t bite yourself in the foot.

[00:39:35] Andi: Yeah, and I’m like, I’m going to try to remember, don’t bite myself in the foot. But yeah, there’s a few of those will have to remember those because you pop off with something new every week. I usually let it roll,

[00:39:45] Dave: but I’m going to run with them, and then I’m going to keep that. Don’t bite yourself. Don’t bite yourself in the words of wisdom by other

[00:39:51] Andi: feet by four ft, but don’t bite, don’t bite anybody to feel so nice. So my number three is obligatory conversation,

[00:40:00] Dave: like the standard, so that basically the beginning of phone call conversations, none of how are you doing it or

[00:40:06] Andi: what? It’s not take it out of the phone room, you are at the post office and you see your neighbor and a lot of people go, oh, that’s the, that’s our neighbor. And I go, fuck me, that’s what I say in my mind, yes, no, I light up and go, hey, and I’m smiling big and you know, acknowledging them, and in my mind, I’m like, fuck me, fuck me twice on sunday fun. Me just fucking anal gave me, like, fucking kill me,

[00:40:37] Dave: okay, so you’re not this person anymore, but can I tell you the story of about that new couple that moved in next door in our first house. So just just to further reiterate this when that switch comes on with her, there’s no there’s no pc, there’s no filter there. It doesn’t matter who you are, it’s the switch slip. So where she’s having one of these days where she’s just like funk everything, I hate everything. So be it. Um we’re out on the front yard enjoying our porch. You know, it’s one of our times to chill, calm down and then this another little to this couple, it just starts walking up our driveway,

[00:41:10] Andi: house was for sale when they were looking

[00:41:12] Dave: at it with the house next door was for sale and they were really interested in but

[00:41:17] Andi: so was everybody else in the city and had walked up to that house and asked us questions about the fucking house and I’m not I’m not a real estate agent. So let me interject what my agitation was before these people approached.

[00:41:30] Dave: That’s true. So it was already just a rough day at work. You came home and so this the couple were just starting to walk up going to the house will go great, it’s another one of those and she just started walking up the steps like jesus fucky

[00:41:44] Andi: fucky fucky can’t

[00:41:45] Dave: fucking walk down

[00:41:46] Andi: my damning commission check for this fucking cells, can’t walk down my fucking steps, this is my fucking

[00:41:53] Dave: and then the guy walks up to me and he says his name and he goes hi I’m so and so I’m your new

[00:41:59] Andi: neighbor. I just bought the house. I was like, I don’t have to worry about them

[00:42:06] Dave: again. No, no. They actually never really talked to us. We lived there for another year after that. I think we only exchanged the wave pleasant.

[00:42:14] Andi: I don’t even think they looked at me. I don’t think I took care of that. But yeah, so it was obligatory conversation of feeling like you see somebody you know and you have to have that X. Y. Z. Of that 25 30 seconds of obligatory hey. Yeah, you see the new uh you know the new lights they put up in the middle of the, you know the speed bumps in the neighborhood, you know, let’s just call it what it is. You never talk. We live, we sleep, we eat, we funk, we do all the things right next to each other all of our lives. You are my neighbor and we don’t talk just because we are at the post office does not change that. You don’t talk to me because you know we are strange and were the creepy couple on.

[00:43:01] Dave: We know you’re probably talking sh it about us but and

[00:43:04] Andi: that’s fine. But don’t be like, hey we’re friends because you know that we’re not and what let’s just call it what it is and let’s just throw a hand up and I think this should, when you throw your hand up, it’s also, it’s saying hi, but it’s also saying no, we’re not doing

[00:43:20] Dave: this well. Now, another thing about us, you talk about obligatory and stuff like that. So we’re in an interesting couple in the sense, we don’t really celebrate milestones, birthdays, anniversaries, ways other people would like on our birthdays. Just just another day. We like our birthdays are so close together. We end up like buying a little trick on a vacation or something, just buy something nice combined together.

[00:43:45] Andi: But valentine’s

[00:43:46] Dave: Day valentine’s Day,

[00:43:47] Andi: nothing. We just don’t get scooped up. We do it for family members. Again, obligatory. We’re not total assholes, but we don’t feel like, oh, it’s valentine’s day. I expect you to pay five times as much for some roses and have them on the counter because the world tells you that’s what you’re

[00:44:03] Dave: supposed to go out to dinner to a restaurant that has a unified menu so they can cook the right amount of to get you out fast enough

[00:44:11] Andi: and they’re slam. So the food quality ship the weight services shit, but you’re doing what you’re supposed to do. Like,

[00:44:17] Dave: no, you know what I think I should have known why I was going to marry you our first valentine’s day before we got married, what do we do?

[00:44:23] Andi: We laid in bed ate mac and cheese and watch mystery science theater, 3000 all day.

[00:44:29] Dave: This is like the height like netflix that just started. I had a lot of sex, we had a lot of sex. So there was sex and mystery science theater 3000 but that’s when I should have known I was going to marry you. I was like damn, I don’t need anything fancy, you know, you don’t know. So yeah, I guess our first valentine’s day being so simple. It’s kind of just led to our life continuing to be simple. Well and so I guess that’s all we have for today. We appreciate you joining us today. If you want to follow us or listen to our podcast or see this beautiful woman next to me, you can go to our podcast website which is quite in kinky dot com or you can find Andy where can we find you? Andy

[00:45:08] Andi: only Andy dot com and I,

[00:45:12] Dave: so that’s where we get to see all the dirty stuff.

[00:45:15] Andi: You get options options only 18 and over please.

[00:45:20] Dave: True. And also I’m sure you’ll be able to find us on social media and you can find only Andy on all social media platforms, not just twitter and instagram,

[00:45:28] Andi: instagram only Andy O F twitter only Andy O F H. I’ve only Andy

[00:45:33] Dave: and if you’ve made it to this far, we appreciate you listening to us. We are going to be doing a lot more of these and hopefully we get better and sound better as the times go by.

 

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